THE SOFT START
Read the full piece: why soft starts aren’t failures — they’re strategy, science, and self-compassion
Before we dive in, a small note.
If January has felt heavier than you expected — slower, foggier, less “new year, new me” and more “please let me ease into this” — you’re not alone. I’ve been feeling it too. This piece is a gentle reminder that soft starts aren’t failures. They’re wisdom. And they work.
THE SOFT START
January has this strange way of demanding a version of us we don’t actually have access to yet. New routines. New habits. New energy. New everything.
But the truth is: most of us start the year in a fog.
Not a dramatic fog — just that low‑level heaviness that comes from December’s emotional load, disrupted routines, too many expectations, and not enough actual rest. It’s the kind of fog that makes even simple things feel heavier than they should.
And there’s a reason for that. A real, biological one.
The January Fog Is Real
Winter messes with our internal systems more than we realise. Reduced sunlight disrupts our circadian rhythm, lowers serotonin, and throws off melatonin — the trio that regulates mood, energy, and sleep. No wonder we feel sluggish, unfocused, or like we’re wading through treacle.
It’s not a character flaw.
It’s chemistry.
So when January arrives with its “new year, new me” energy, our brains are still in low‑power mode. We’re trying to restart routines while our biology is whispering, “Can we not?”
Why Motivation Is Unreliable
Motivation is a feeling — not a strategy. And feelings are inconsistent at the best of times.
Science breaks motivation into two systems:
approach motivation (moving toward reward)
avoidance motivation (moving away from discomfort)
In winter, avoidance tends to win. Not because we’re lazy — but because our brain is trying to conserve resources.
Add in dopamine — the neurotransmitter that fuels focus, drive, and reward — and things get even more interesting. Dopamine spikes when we start, not when we think about starting. Which is why the idea of going for a run does nothing… but the first step out the door changes everything.
Motivation doesn’t get you moving.
Movement creates motivation.
My Own Lesson in “More Is Better”
For a long time, I thought the answer was intensity. Run every day. Run longer. Don’t stop. Push harder. No warm‑up, no fuel, no rest — just go.
And for a while, I did.
Until my knees hurt.
Until I dreaded the runs I used to enjoy.
Until the exhaustion outweighed the reward.
Until life got busy and everything collapsed anyway.
I wasn’t lazy.
I was burnt out.
Later — through people who actually understood training, through community, through learning — I realised I had to unlearn everything. Start again. Start softer. Start smarter.
Do I know it all now? Absolutely not. But I have tools. I have awareness. And I have a way of catching myself when I slip into old patterns.
Why Soft Starts Work
Habit formation research is beautifully simple: habits follow a cycle — cue → routine → reward.
The reward is what teaches your brain, “Do that again.”
But here’s the part most people miss:
You don’t need a big routine to get a big reward.
You just need a small, achievable action.
Science is clear:
Start small
Build gradually
Make the first step easy
Remove friction
Stay consistent, not perfect
This is why soft starts matter. They’re not weakness — they’re strategy.
Behavioural Activation: The Science of Doing
There’s a whole therapeutic approach built on this idea: Behavioural Activation.
It’s based on a simple truth:
mood follows action — not the other way around.
When we’re low, foggy, overwhelmed, or stuck, our instinct is to wait until we “feel like it.” But waiting is the trap.
Behavioural Activation teaches us to:
notice our patterns
monitor our mood and activities
understand what lifts us and what drags us down
reduce avoidance
schedule small, meaningful actions
reconnect with our values
take one tiny step at a time
reward ourselves for progress
accept what we can’t control
build skills where we need them
stay mindful and present
It’s not glamorous.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s not Instagram‑worthy.
But it works.
And it works because it meets you where you are — not where you think you “should” be.
Values, Pleasure, Mastery
One of my favourite parts of BA is the reminder that life isn’t built on discipline alone. It’s built on:
what matters to us (values)
what feels good (pleasure)
what makes us feel capable (mastery)
When we choose actions that touch even one of these, our mood shifts.
When we choose actions that touch all three, our life shifts.
Soft Starts Are BA in Real Life
A soft start is:
a 10‑minute walk instead of a 5k
tidying one corner instead of the whole house
one healthy meal instead of a full diet overhaul
texting one friend instead of “being more social”
doing the first step instead of the whole thing
Soft starts work because they’re realistic.
They’re human.
They’re sustainable.
And they’re enough.
The Soft Start Is Still a Start
If January has been more “loading…” than “let’s go,” you’re not alone. Soft starts are still starts — and honestly, they’re the ones that actually stick. Here’s to tiny pushes and feeling human again.
